Face Your Demons
by sCyanide
Summary: It's been three months since the camp and Bon is getting really frustrated. He and Rin both know that their feelings towards each other are completely mutual. So why does the blue-haired teen keep pushing everyone away? Will a mission in a remote mountain village bring them finally together or tear them apart for good? BonxRin. Rin never revealed himself.
1. Clean Your Mess

**Hello everyone! :D  
**

**I'm sCyanide and this is my very _first _published fic. Yaaayyy~  
I'd like to say I'm new on this site, but that would be a huge lie: I have been reading and writing fanfiction for years, but only recently I decided to let other people enjoy (or suffer) my stories, too. **

**This was supposed to be a short oneshot, I could use for practising English writing (haven't actually written a story completely in English for... two years? :'D). But for some reason my stories _always_ end up being longer than intended... So there will probably be eight or so chapters, that hopefully will be better than the first one (I'm not very happy how this turned out).**

**There will be some grammatical errors... As you can probably see, English isn't my first language. ;)**

**Warnings:** BL/slash/yaoi (so homophobes stay away), some swearing, violence, OOCness

**Disclaimer: **Nooope, ANEX is not mine. Or do you really think I would be writing _fan_fiction if I was Kazue Kato? ;)

* * *

**Face Your Demons**

**_Chapter one - Clean Your Mess  
_**

* * *

"You realize this is entirely your fault?"

Frustrated, Rin dumped the old, tattered mop into a bucket full of dirty water splashing it everywhere. Grayish little droplets landed among the dark stains on the floor, and soon after came the mop spreading more dirty liquid on the wood. Small pieces of trash floated on the wet surface and repeated every move Rin's strong arms made.

"I would've rather spent the free period doing anything else, like, hanging out with our friends or something", Rin grumbled tipping the cleaning tool once again in the bucket. "But noooo... You just had to let those demons trash the classroom. And because of that, I'm forced to take this so-called cleaning course with a cock-wannabe."

The only answer he got was a low chuckle.

He slammed the mop against the wet floor and turned his gaze towards the other guy, Bon, who was picking up rubble on the other side of the room and smiling slightly, even a little triumphantly. He gritted his teeth wondering what was so funny in the situation. Unless the faux hawked teen had planned the whole thing.

Which wouldn't have surprised him at all.

He sighed and shook his head. Even though he was supposed to be angry at Bon, he never could stay mad at the guy for very long.

And with that he couldn't help but let his eyes wander around his _friend's_ muscular body and handsome face feeling too familiar longing approaching. He wanted to feel those lips on his own and be held by those strong hands – he wanted his classmate so badly that it really hurt.

_A demon. The son of Satan._

But it was more painful to know that they would never work out.

_What will he do once the truth is revealed? _

Sighing sadly he shook his head and forced himself to avert his eyes from the fellow Exwire.

"Bon, about today... it wasn't like you", he said quietly using the mop to draw small circles on the floor. "Is something wrong?"

There was no answer.

"Bon?"

"You'll never get this done like that", an amused voice belonging to certain Aria-in-training whispered to his right ear making his heart jump to his throat. When had Bon learned to sneak around like that? "Seriously, has no one ever taught you how to mop?"

Rin wasn't able to utter a word because his senses were pretty much filled with Bon. He could hear and feel the warm breaths tickling his neck, his nose was filled with Bon's masculine scent and he was able to feel the young Aria's well-toned body against his back. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shaking breath hoping that the taller teen would stop whatever he was doing. But at the same time he prayed it could just continue for eternity.

Bon chuckled against Rin's warm neck and took younger boy's hands in his own, making them grasp the wooden stick more properly.

"You know, using that much water will probably ruin the floor", Bon said resting his head on Rin's shoulder and stepping even closer the smaller teen. He could feel the heat radiating from hybrid's face. "And your technique is all wrong... Let me show you."

He adjusted their grasps on the mop and started to guide Rin's arms gently with his own. At the same time his hips were pressed against the young half-demon making sure Rin's body followed his every movement. It was like a dance, a slow waltz, only without music. For a moment they were able to forget all the problems making their life harder. For a moment Rin was able to forget his true heritage and truly enjoy Bon's closeness. And for a moment Bon was able to forget his longing for the bluenette.

Something twitched under Rin's shirt, but Bon decided against mentioning it. The _thing_ was nothing new to him, even though he didn't exactly know what _it_ was. The long, soft thing was alive, that was sure. But he wasn't able to say whether it was part of Rin or was the young Exwire just harboring some demon with him. There were so many mysteries around the younger teen, so many questions. But as Rin was keeping mostly by himself, most of them were left unanswered.

And he didn't even dare ask anymore. The younger male wouldn't tell him anyway.

Bon sighed and planted a soft kiss on the side of Rin's neck making the smaller teen gasp and mutter his name.

"I've been worried about you", he confessed after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "And I'm not the only one... You haven't been yourself lately."

"What do you mean...?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Rin", Bon almost snapped, tired of Rin brushing him off, and pulled the Knight-in-training even closer to his chest. "All those fake smiles and laughs... This over-enthusiasm of yours... Did you really think I wouldn't notice? I care about you, Rin, I really do. That's why it hurts so much to see you suffering. All alone."

He felt Rin gulp as silently as possible.

"I'm not alone..." the blue haired teen stuttered, hesitantly. "I have Yukio, Kuro, Shura, Shiemi... You... The rest of the class..."

"But you've been pushing everyone away lately", he said quietly rubbing Rin's knuckles with his thumbs. "We're your friends, damn it... Whatever bothers you...You really should learn to confide in us more..."

Shaking his head Rin let out another shaky breath and stopped moving altogether. Slowly he pried his hands free from Bon's and lowered his head, trembling slightly.

"I wish it was that easy", he whispered wrapping his hands around his own torso and hugging himself. "But I-I... you... Ryuji..."

_You would hate me..._

Worried, Bon dumped the mop, grabbed the younger teen and turned him around facing him. His hazel orbs looked into Rin's sad, blue ones, searching for an answer or even a smallest hint telling him what was wrong with his friend.

"Rin, please... Tell me what's bugging you."

All Rin did was to avert his eyes from Bon's and look away.

The skunk-haired teen frowned slightly, not liking Rin's attitude a bit.

"It's about us, isn't it?" he asked, not sure if he should voice his thoughts. Every time he brought their possible relationship up, Rin either changed topic or remained silent. He just couldn't understand why Rin was so reluctant to give it a try, it was so obvious that their feelings were mutual! "Damn it, Rin... Look at me."

So slowly Rin lifted his eyes to meet Bon's, and for a moment Bon was able to see a great deal of pain in those deep blue orbs. But in a blink of an eye it was gone, as Rin managed to hide his feelings from him.

"You wouldn't understand..." the blue haired teen answered quietly and closed his eyes. "I-I'm... n-not... I..." _I'm not a human. _Realizing that he was unable to continue, he took a shaky breath and hoped Bon would lose his interest soon. Which, by the way, was very unlikely.

_I'm a half demon; the bastard son of Satan..._

Sensing Rin's distress, Bon stepped even closer and put his hands on Rin's cheeks. Gently he rested his forehead on Rin's, so that their noses were almost touching. A few centimeters closer, and he would be able to claim the lips he desired so often after. Only a small movement... But he knew he shouldn't do it, not if Rin didn't want it.

"Listen to me, Okumura, and listen very good. I'm not very good at saying things like this, so you'd better get it on the first time", he said huskily, fighting the temptation to lean even closer. "I don't fucking care what you think you have or haven't done, what or who you are. You could be a serial killer for all I care. _I love you_, Rin Okumura, and that's all what matters to me. Don't ever try to doubt it."

Rin's eyes widened, and a bunch of emotions crossed young Exwire's face so quickly that Bon was unable to catch all of them. But the tears glistering in Rin's eyes were something that was hard to ignore.

"B-Bon... I-I..."

But before Rin was able to decide what to say, a way too familiar voice was heard from the corridor.

"Yoo-hoo, we're back, Bon and Rin!"

It would be an understatement to say that they parted as fast as an attacking reaper, because in a blink of an eye they were on their respective sides of the room seemingly doing what they were supposed to. As the rest of the class stepped into the room, Bon was on the floor picking up some rubble he had missed earlier and Rin was dipping his mop in the bucket while trying desperately dry his eyes. Taking a deep breath Rin hoped that his eyes weren't visibly red, even though he technically never did cry.

"No freaking way..." they heard Renzou exclaim, and Rin felt himself stiffen. Had the pink haired teen noticed what had happened in the classroom just moments before? "Gosh, you guys are so sloooooow!"

"What do you mean? We're almost done here!" Bon said wiping his hands on his pants and standing from the floor to meet the rest of the gang.

At the same time Rin decided get rid of the annoying mop and dumped it into bucket for the last time. He looked quickly around to find a perfect spot for it, he couldn't just leave it in the middle of the room, could he? Gliding it along the wet and a bit slippery floor he parked it in the far corner of the classroom. And after that he decided forget the whole cleaning equipment. But little did he know that three months later a teacher of his would almost get a heart attack when finding the bucket full of filthy and _living_ water.

"By 'almost done' you mean a pile of rubble and a soaked floor?" Izumo said looking around the room incredulously. "One would think you could get more things done in an hour... But then again... you're just boys."

"They've probably been fighting for the whole time", Renzou chuckled ignoring Bon's death glare. "...Or then they've been making out on teacher's desk. Who knows."

And after that the pink haired male fell in a hysterical laughing fit as the blood rushed to both Rin's and Bon's faces. Konekomaru coughed awkwardly at the mental image, and Shiemi hid her face in her hands blushing scarlet.

"W-what the hell, Shima?" Bon stuttered only making Renzou laugh more. "Nothing like that happened! For the whole time I have been trying to teach this idiot how to handle a mop!"

Though the idea of Rin squirming and moaning under him on the wooden desk was pretty tempting.

"Sureeeee", Renzou chuckled stretching the word as if he didn't believe a word Bon said. "And since when have you known how to mop? You may be good at memorizing verses and organizing your things, but when it comes to cleaning – and especially mopping – you're hopeless! Busted!"

"It's not like that - "

But before Bon had a change to argue with Renzou, someone cleared their throat. Very loudly. All of sudden everybody's eyes were turned towards the door, where their teacher Yukio Okumura was standing pushing his classes up with his fore finger. Slowly he took a look around the classroom, sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

* * *

An hour later found Rin sitting on his usual seat in the front row, Shiemi and Izumo on his right side, the Kyoto gang on his left side and the silent kid, Takara, a few rows behind him. In front of the class his little brother was talking about something. About what, he wasn't actually sure, since he had dozed off during the first five minutes of Yukio's speech. But who could he blame (Yeah, who indeed), he just had a lot in his mind.

After Yukio had seen the condition of his precious classroom, he had decided that he'd better to take the class to another room in the meantime. A room, which hadn't already been trashed by Rin's reckless behavior. Or in this case Bon's.

Rin had let out a relieved breath, believing that the discussion with Bon was finally over. He hadn't been ready for such an emotional talk and he definitely didn't want to repeat it. But as he had been stepping out of the classroom, he had felt _certain someone_ grabbing his shoulder and leaning closer to his ear.

"Don't think this is over, Okumura", he had heard Bon whisper. "We're going to finish this talk later."

And with that the older teen had let go of him, stepped though the door and headed to their new classroom leaving Rin standing alone in the trashed classroom.

And Rin had wondered, and sitting in the class he still wondered... What had he almost done?

Suddenly he felt a shudder moving along his body. He had almost let the demon out of the bag... He could have kicked himself for his own stupidity. Was he really so keen to return to his old life? To the life he had spent mostly in isolation, his only friends being Yukio, Shiro and the men from the monastery? What had he been thinking when almost telling Bon his deepest secret, a secret, which could have potentially – no, _definitely_ – ruined their friendship?

_A friendship build on lies..._

The truth to be told, he really felt horrible for having to lie to everybody (especially to Bon) around him. Every time somebody asked about the mysterious aura surrounding him, he just had to plaster a fake smile on his face and laugh at the question while silently cursing his true heritage. When someone asked to see his sword he had come up with a some kind of excuse. Every freaking time. He couldn't risk them unsheathing _Kurikara_ and unleashing his powers.

With his reluctance to talk about his past or reasons to become exorcist, they realized that he was keeping something from them. Something big. But since the mysteries were pretty usual for Exwires they didn't question him about it.

But constant lying and secrets were finally taking toll on him, which didn't go unnoticed by his friends. As Bon had said, they had noticed that something was wrong with him. But they seemed to know that he wouldn't tell them even if they asked.

_It will happen sooner or later..._

Gulping silently he closed his eyes for a moment and leaned back on his chair. He knew that real friends didn't keep thing like that from each other, but he did anyway. Maybe he wasn't a real friend, then. He also knew that real friends would always stand beside each other, whatever happened. But somehow he had a feeling that wouldn't happen in his case. They seemed to hate Satan just so much, and it definitely wouldn't be hard at all to switch the hate towards the son of Satan, him.

_They will know..._

His breath hitched at an image of Bon scowling at him in disgust. Words were pouring from the lips of the young Exwire, but Rin didn't want to imagine the things the blond-streaked teen would say. Though, he knew there would be no pretty and nice words. Only insults. Curses.

"Rin Okumura!"

He almost fell over on his chair when his brother's voice jolted him awake from his thoughts. With almost inhuman speed he grabbed his desk to prevent himself from landing very painfully to the floor. For a moment he clung to his desk as his life depended on it, but after a few seconds he managed to gain his balance back and return to his original position behind the wooden desk. Forcing a sheepish grin on his face he lifted his eyes to look at Yukio, who, by the way, looked pretty pissed and disappointed for a change.

_Ouch, I did it again..._

"Did you listen a word I said?" his brother finally asked frowning and rubbing his forehead. Rin could almost hear him muttering: "Seriously, what am I going to do with you..."

"Sorry", was all he could say. And this time he didn't lie. He really wanted to make his brother proud, but he just wasn't one to study. Dropping out of school had had pretty bad effects on his motivation.

Yukio only sighed. "Just pay attention from now on..."

_...or you'll be dead in three months._

Damn, he really didn't need to be reminded of that. Damn the Vatican, damn Amaimon and damn Mephisto for not getting him a better deal. How on earth was he supposed to complete the exorcist exam only in six months? It was just plain insanity!

Seeing that Rin got the message, Yukio continued his announcement.

"As I was saying, there has been an unusual amount of ghost and low-level demon sightings in a nearby mountain village", the younger Okumura twin told the class. "Your mission is to get rid of them without any help from the other exorcists. Shura and I will accompany you during your trip, but exorcising the demons is completely up to you. And since you already are familiar with ghosts and low-level demons, I'll expect an absolute success from you. Any questions?"

Rin almost groaned. Yukio knew very well that he was useless if he wasn't able to use his sword, and there was no way he would be wielding it around his classmates. So what was his brother thinking?

"When are we going?" he suddenly heard Bon's deep voice asking.

Oh god, Bon... And the upcoming Talk... He knew, that at this rate he wouldn't be able to keep his secret from the young Aria much longer. The only option was to keep avoiding the older teen as long as he was unable to behave near him.. But how was he supposed to do that in a remote mountain village?

"We will meet at the bus station at six o'clock", Yukio answered. "So you'd better get packing, since we'll be staying there a couple of days. Class dismissed."

Rin was the first one to rush through the door.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!  
And if you would be so kind and tell me what you think about this. Constructive criticism is always welcome ~  
**

**Chapter two will come out after I'll finish the fourth chapter ;)**


	2. The Longest Trip

**Face Your Demons**

**_Chapter two - The Longest Trip  
_**

* * *

The blue haired half-demon felt dread gnawing at his insides when he was walking slowly towards the bus station. He had successfully managed to avoid Bon for the last four hours he had spent packing. But now, as the station grew closer, he felt a new wave of anxiety hitting him. There was no way he could act like normal around the other teen. Not after the confession he heard earlier that day and a confession he himself almost made.

He felt Kuro stir slightly on his shoulder and he wondered briefly how on Earth was the Sidhe cat able to sleep on a place like that. Though, they had spent most of the previous night by training, so no wonder the cat was dead tired. He himself would have liked to just lay on the ground and drift to sleep, too, but he knew better to not do that. Once he'll get to the bus, he can hopefully take a little nap.

Careful to not wake his familiar, he readjusted his sword on his back and forced himself move forward.

The bus station was being its usual busy self. Cars moved there and here while the poor pedestrians tried to get on the other side of platform or road without getting driven over by an impatient bus driver. It took a moment for Rin to find his classmates from the crowd, and after he spotted them entering a minibus he started jogging to their direction, dodging busy travelers and buses and relying on his powers only a little.

"You're late."

"I know, I know", he said to his scowling younger brother and threw his bag in the trunk. "Sorry, won't happen again."

"We both know that you won't be able to keep that promise", Yukio said sighing (he seemed to do that a lot nowadays) and gestured towards the door. "Get in, it's going to be a long trip."

Rin only nodded and made his way towards the front door of the car. He heard his brother following him as the bus driver slammed the trunk closed. At the moment he stepped in the old vehicle his demonic senses were hit with the smell of moldy cloths, human sweat and cigarettes. He grimaced hoping that the driver wouldn't smoke during the trip.

"Hey, Rin!" he suddenly heard Renzou's voice from the back of the bus and saw the pink haired teen waving his hand eagerly while flashing a smile to him. Taking a brief look around the bus he noticed that all of his classmates were packed in the back seat, leaving only Shura on one of the front seats. "We have been saving a seat for you!"

Chuckling silently he strolled towards the others, only to realize to his horror that the only free seat was right next to Bon. Shiemi, Izumo and Takara were occupying the three seats facing backwards, and the four seats in the farthest back were taken over by the Kyoto group. He cursed quietly. Of course the skunk-haired teen would take advantage of the trip.

_I'm not letting you out of hook that easily_, his eyes seemed to say, and Rin almost found himself groaning frustrated.

And there goes the plan about avoiding the Aria-in-training. Damn it, why did it have to be so difficult?

He knew it would have been for the best if he just had turned around and found another seat to sit on, but his body didn't want to agree with him. And besides, if he turned Renzou's offer down, he would definitely have aroused some suspicions in his classmates. He couldn't afford them suspecting him any more.

Feeling the mental battle between his logical mind and his demonic side still going on, he sighed and decided to tune the two arguing voices out. Wiping his sweaty palms on hist pants, he took the last few steps and dropped to the seat between Bon and the window.

Boy, it was a mistake.

He took a shaky breath when smelling Bon's masculine scent, hearing the faint thump coming from the chest of the older teen and feeling the warm hand brushing briefly against his. Leaning back in his seat, he had to close his eyes to calm himself down, but it had no use. Bon's presence got only stronger, and he had some serious difficulties to stay still on his seat.

If he had been a normal human, he could have controlled his desires without any problem at all. But because of his semi-demonic nature, his demon urges were almost unbearable. Demons took what they wanted, not asking a permission or anything else. They did almost everything to get what they desired, so it was no wonder he had a little difficult time controlling himself.

Even while sitting in the bus he heard his demonic side whispering to him, trying to get him do what he desired. But he refused. He knew if he gave up, he would soon be straddling the blonde streaked teen, kissing those perfect lips till they were all puffy. He wanted so much to feel Bon's hands roaming around his body and stroking his tail. He wanted to be touched, kissed, loved. He wanted to feel the other teen inside of him. He wanted to hear Bon moaning his name.

But that wouldn't happen. Ever.

He was a demon, Bon was becoming an exorcist. That equation just doesn't match.

And was going to be executed in three months, so why engage in something that won't last?

Sighing he opened his eyes and looked out of the window. Why had the life to be so complicated? He had finally managed to control his flames by trial and error, so why wasn't he able to do same to his emotions? It would have been so much easier if he had manged to ignore his feelings for Bon.

And of course it would also have been a lot easier if Bon didn't feel the same way.

"I see everyone is finally present. Good", his brother woke him once again from his daydreams as the driver started the vehicle. He averted his eyes from small demons bothering those poor bus drivers outside and looked at Yukio, who was standing between Takara's and Shiemi's seats. "I hope everyone has enough clothes and other stuff with them?"

A few nods.

"Very well. The estimated travel time is about four hours", groans echoed through the back of the bus, "because at this time of a year the roads on mountains aren't in the best condition possible. If you want to have a break, just say so. Any questions?"

"Umh, Mr. Okumura, where are we staying?" Konekomaru asked from his seat. "In an inn or what?"

"I so hope this won't be another camping trip..." Renzou said shivering at the memories of the millions of bugs he had forced to encounter during the last time.

Rin tensed, but not for the same reasons as Renzou had. Last time they had been camping, he had almost revealed himself to his classmates, thanks to Amaimon. He still couldn't remember what exactly happened when he had gone berserk, but he did remember feeling so angry. The blood lust was horrifying. And then he had woken up with Angel's sword on his throat. Even though Yukio and Shura had managed to get everyone safe without spilling the beans, they weren't able to fool the Vatican, which eventually led to his six-month deadline.

And damn he had some explaining to do when he limped to the cram school next day. Especially to Bon. It would've been an understatement to say that the skunk head was angry - he was totally furious. For thirty minutes the other Exwire had _shouted_ at him for being so reckless to get lost in a forest full of _Satan's flame_, flame that had killed thousands of people, flame that meant always disaster, flame that was part of the purest evil.

There was no way that someone using blue flame could have been a good guy.

And that really hurt.

But then Bon had gotten awfully quiet. He had looked like he was trying to say something, but didn't dare or want to pronounce the words.

The half-demon had been so sure that the other teen had went in a shock of some sorts, and was about to call him. But suddenly Bon had spoken, almost whispered, a few words and after that disappeared through the door of the almost empty classroom.

"_I thought I lost you."_

And for the first time Rin had realized their feelings might have been mutual.

He was glad the others had ditched the room as soon as Bon had started his ranting, because they didn't have to see him breaking. He had dropped on the floor in shock and fallen in a despair, when he had realized, that even though they, Bon and he, felt completely same towards each other, they would never work out.

He don't even remember what had happened after that, before Yukio had come in looking for him.

Suddenly he felt sharp claws digging to his leg and he almost yelped in pain.

"Kuro!" he cried and tried to swipe the cat off of his lap. But the demon just jumped on his shoulder and meowed irritated.

"_**So you're finally awake!"**_ he heard his familiar's voice in his head. _**"Your friends have already been calling for you for five minutes! We were getting worried when you didn't answer!"**_

"What do you mean?" he mumbled nursing his left thigh. Not that Kuro had done any serious damage. "I was just thinking about... things... You're worrying too much."

He heard Kuro snort.

"_**And I wonder whom you were dreaming of... Someone, who wants to become an Aria and is from Kyoto... Someone named Bon?"**_

Rin cowled slightly and glared at the demon sitting on his shoulder. "One more word on that subject and you'll be eating cat food for the next month."

"_**What? No! You wouldn't do that!"**_

"Watch me."

"_**I'll tell Yukio on you!"**_

Rin chuckled at Kuro's frantic meowing and empty threats.

"Good luck with that."

"Ummmh, Rin, are you okay?" he suddenly heard Izumo asking from the seat across his. "Because... you're talking to your cat..."

And at the very moment he remembered that he was in a bus full of people, who didn't exactly know about his physic connection with Kuro. Grinning sheepishly he looked around and noticed how every pair of eyes were trained on him. He felt like sinking in his seat. Damn he had messed this time.

"Oh well... You know... You kind of learn to tell what he's saying at the times", he tried to come up with a little altered truth, since he wasn't quite ready to tell them he could hear demons' thoughts. "And besides, he's a very clever cat."

"_**Damn straight!"**_

"He's so clever that you can even blackmail him?" Renzou exclaimed in awe while leaning front to see the black cat better. "Cool! I want a pet like that, too!"

Rin felt Kuro stiffen and only one thing went through his mind at that moment.

_Oh shit..._

With an almost inhuman speed and strength he secured his hands around the small cat to keep it still, hoping that it wouldn't take its usual growth spurt. The back of the bus was cramped enough even without a cat of size of a horse.

"_**A pet?!"**_ Kuro suddenly growled squirming against Rin's hold and making Renzou back a bit, even though the pink head had no idea, what made the demon cat so upset._** " Let me go Rin! I'm gonna show him! He thinks I'm a some stupid house cat!"**_

"Wow, looks like he didn't like it when you called him a pet", Konekomaru, the cat lover, said chuckling lightly at Renzou's horrified expression.

"C'mon, Kuro... You would make an awesome pet! Think about it!" Rin said cheerfully, forgetting his burdens for a moment. "I could give you to some cute little girl, who then could dress you in a pink frilly dress and have you attend to her tea parties with her dolls! And every evening he could tuck you in a crib, read you bedtime stories and drown you with goodnight kisses!"

A comical horror crossed over Kuro's face as his jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes almost popped out of his head. Seeing this, Rin only fell in a real laughing fit. He couldn't even remember when he had laughed for real for the last time.

"_**You're a terrible master, Rin!"**_ Kuro meowed, crocodile tears in his eyes, and jumped to Bon's shoulder, startling the young Exwire. At the same time Renzou, who was sitting next to the young Aria, crept even further to avoid the wrath of the sidhe cat. _**"I can't stand this anymore! I'm taking Bon as my new master! At least he will treat me with honor!"**_

"Oh no, you wouldn't do that", Rin said drying his eyes and smirking at Kuro's melodramatic show. "I'm pretty sure he can't cook the sukiyaki you like so much."

Bon, who had been unusual quiet ever since Rin had woken from his own lala-land, let a low chuckle escape from his throat and reached for the cat sitting on his shoulder. Carefully he grabbed the black animal and lifted him on his lap to take a closer look while stroking gently its silken fur.

"You know, Kuro, he's right. I can't really cook to save my life", he said noticing for the first time that the cat really was a demon, a familiar, apparently. A sidhe cat. So Rin really had told the truth when saying that he had gotten a familiar. "So If you wanted to eat something else besides instant noodles and cat food, you'd better stay with your master."

Kuro groaned as Bon lifted him again and handed back to Rin.

"_**What's with you humans and your urge to carry small animals?"**_

Rin chuckled and, just to humor Kuro, reached towards the black cat and lifted him from Bon's hands. Although, Bon didn't let his hands off as quickly one would have thought. Instead he kept touching Rin's fingers a few moments more than necessary, which didn't go unnoticed by Rin and Kuro.

"_**You know, he isn't half bad. I can't understand why the two of you haven't gotten together yet."**_

Ignoring his familiar's statement, Rin lowered the cat carefully on his lap, where the small demon found a comfortable place to curl in and drift to sleep. He kept stroking the raven fur a few moments while the bus drove along a highway. Buildings run past the big windows of the vehicle, and Rin found himself unable to keep his eyes on a single building more than a few seconds. A few occasional holes on the road shook the bus at times, but otherwise it was so still inside the car.

Suddenly Kuro stirred in his sleep and finally Rin remembered the reason why the familiar had woken him up a while ago.

"By the way, did I miss something earlier?" he suddenly asked smiling sheepishly at his classmates. "I kind of tuned out after Shima's reminder of the camp..."

He heard Bon groan next to him. Was it because he brought unpleasant memories by mentioning the camp or because of his ignorance, he wouldn't ever know.

"Not really... Yuki-chan only told us we're going to stay at a local inn", Shiemi explained, and Rin wondered if that was the first time he had heard the girl talking that day. "He still don't know what our rooms will be, or who we're going to be with, but everything should be sorted out when we'll arrive there."

"That's all?"

"Besides the fact that if looks could kill, your brother would have killed you ten times over during his speech", Bon said, "that's pretty much everything."

Rin winced slightly. How many times he was going to let Yukio down a day?

"And after that we tried to talk to you to ask what you thought about the mission. But you were completely unresponsive", Shiemi continued looking at him with worry in her green eyes. "What were you thinking anyway? Something about that camp?"

Rin felt himself stiffen, and he really hoped no one saw the nervousness flowing right through him. Even though Shiemi's question was completely innocent, he couldn't help the fear grasping his guts. What if someday, he wouldn't be able to lie anymore?

"Nothing. Personal things", he said quickly, maybe a little too quickly. He saw Izumo arching her ridiculously short eyebrow, and he had to turn his ashen face away from their searching eyes. "I'd rather not talk about it."

He knew for sure that his explanation didn't satisfy them, it more like aroused a bunch of new questions, which would unfortunately be left without an answer. He just was too tired with lies and half-truths, and he had no will to come up with some decent lie this time. Letting out a deep sigh he leaned back on his seat and turned his gaze outside.

He tuned the others out when they started to discuss and speculate the previous camp and especially the blue flame that had almost burned the whole forest to ashes. He didn't want to hear their versions of the night anymore, not, when he knew very well who had been behind the disaster.

So he settled with following the many buildings and other structures with his eyes while the bus drove forward. But as the landscape started to change from urban city to peaceful countryside and then high mountains, he felt his eyelids dropping. The hard training the night before was finally taking toll on him and he felt a blackness starting to surround his consciousness.

As the shaking of the bus lulled him into a peaceful sleep, he didn't even notice how his head dropped straight to Bon's broad shoulder.

* * *

**A kinda fillerish chapter? Maybe. Aaaaand the next will probably be too, sorry. ^^' I obviously forgot to mention that I make things happen very slowly, so prepare yourselves. **

**The next chapter will probably be out next week (unless I'll decide to rewrite it entirely), if not, you'll have to wait till January. I have an exam week right now, so I've got no time to write (wrote this and the next chapter ages ago, mwahaha). And holidays start on Saturday... One would think I'd have time to write during the break, but as I won't be spending it home, I won't be able to able to write as much as I'd like to. There's no way I'm going to start typing a story while my homophobic folks are standing right behind me. Those annoying questions and comments... No thanks. xP**

**Thank you everyone who happened to review, follow and/or favourite this story! It really encourages me to write more :))**

**And once again, constructive criticism is always welcome ~  
**


	3. Let The Sleeping Demons Sleep

**Face Your Demons**

_**Chapter three - Let the Sleeping Demons Sleep  
**_

* * *

"There's something going on between you two, isn't there?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about", Bon answered without tearing his gaze away from the blue haired teen snoring quietly against his shoulder. He let his eyes wander around Rin's calm face, re-memorizing every single detail: the slightly pointed ears, long eyelashes, blue hair that apparently wasn't dyed (he still couldn't understand how somebody could have naturally blue hair) and sharp canines that could be seen between the younger teen's parted lips.

It was so rare to see Rin looking so calm and peaceful nowadays, that he definitely didn't want to let the chance slip.

"Don't give me that bullshit", he heard Renzou snorting beside him. "You have been dancing around each other for months now! All that flirting, those blushy moments, fighting like a married couple... Are you both in denial or something?"

Bon averted his eyes from Rin to glare at Renzou for a second. The bug-hater had no idea what he were getting into.

"Watch it, Shima", he growled threateningly, but Renzou only smirked. He felt his eyes narrow in irritation. Somebody really needed to teach the pink head when it'd be better to keep his mouth shut.

_I wonder if I could find a few rolls of duct tape from the village,_ he found himself thinking._ And a tub. And cockroaches. Lots of cockroaches._

The idea sounded very appealing.

"Hit the nail straight on the head, eh?" the other Aria-in training stated a smug look on his face, completely oblivious of the sadistic plans forming in Bon's mind. "So what's holding you?"

"Just fucking drop it."

"Fat chance ~"

Bon huffed annoyed and turned his eyes away from the pink haired teen, frowning slightly, pursing his lips in a thin line, crossing his arms on his chest and overall making sure his body language told clearly that the discussion was over. He was sure Renzou wasn't ready to give up yet, but for some unknown reason the guy eventually left him alone. Was it because of Izumo's obvious glare towards the other Aria-in-training or the fact that the bus was slowing down rapidly, he didn't know. He only noticed the silence creeping into the bus.

He felt Rin move a bit in his sleep and mutter something. Something short. A small word. A name. His name. The half demon's voice was so quiet he almost missed the few syllables slipping from those soft lips.

"_Ryuji..."_

Bon took a deep breath while closing his eyes and trying to settle his racing heart. He felt like choking. There they were again. After multiple 'no's, Rin still mumbled his name in sleep. If the young Knight didn't want to try a relationship out, why on earth did he have to torture him so much? Why did it have to be so hard? Why did Rin have to be just _so_ stubborn and insecure? _Why couldn't the guy trust him?_

He was so busy cursing Rin in his mind that he almost completely missed the bus halting. Only the powerful jerk forward woke him from his musings as Rin's head slipped from his shoulder and fell to his lap. And not until that had he noticed how his classmates had started collecting their possessions around the vehicle.

After four hours, they had finally reached the mountain village.

"Hey, Sleeping beauty, time to wake up!" he tried to wake Rin up by calling and gently shaking the younger Exwire. But the other only mumbled something in his sleep and attempted brush his hands away.

He frowned.

"Damn it, Okumura! Wake up!"

But all he managed to do was to wake Kuro up instead of Rin, who still continued his comfortable slumber on Bon's lap. From corner of his eye he saw the rest of the group exiting from the bus, leaving him to deal with the sleepy Knight-in-trainig all alone.

_Thanks a lot guys..._

Sighing he tried to shake Rin awake one more time. No reaction. He groaned loudly. What the hell had the younger teen been up for the whole night?

Suddenly he heard a cat meowing and noticed Kuro staring at him with a somewhat questioning expression on his hairy face. The demon held his front paw a few inches above Rin's thigh, nails exposed, and looked at Bon like asking a permission. He didn't need to know what the cat was saying, it's body language told everything.

He couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head.

"No need for that, Kuro. I think I've got this", he said slowly and rose from his seat making Rin's head fall to the place he occupied only a few moments ago. Kuro still sitting on Rin's lap, watched him in curiosity as he grabbed Rin's sword, placed it on his pack and crouched to lift the younger Exwire up.

Rin's nicely toned body was nothing new to him, since he had forced himself in the personal space of the blue haired teen more than once. But still he couldn't stop the heat rising to his cheeks when feeling those strong muscles against his own. If he just could move his hands around a little. Just a little bit...

_Shit, I'm getting distracted again..._

Shaking his head he started making his way through the narrow space between the seats, which happened to be harder than he had first anticipated. Apparently the aisle wasn't meant for a person carrying another bridal style. He had to watch all the time that he didn't accidentally hit Rin's head on a seat (not that slamming Rin's head on something would have caused any serious damage).

"Damn it", he cursed when Rin's jacket got stuck on an armrest for the umpteenth time.

Cursing quietly he untangled the irritating cloth from the seat and started to move towards the door. And not long after he found himself stepping out of the vehicle to the dusky evening. He had never really liked the public transport, mostly because the air desperately needed some cleaning. So no wonder that the fresh air felt like a blessing after the hours spend in a cramped bus, and he had to stop to take a few deep breaths.

When they finally reached the others they got a few funny looks, and he was sure he heard Renzou whistling at them. But at the moment he managed to glare at the pink haired teen, the guy was suddenly interested in the random birds flying in the sky. He heard Izumo snicker silently as Yukio stared at his brother a dumbfounded expression on his face. But then he lowered his gaze and frowned slightly, as if not liking what he was seeing. And Bon wasn't sure if that was a good sign.

"The idiot wouldn't wake up, and obviously I couldn't leave him in the bus", Bon stated as he felt the stares getting a little too intensive. He knew there was no reason him to explain why he did what the did; apparently everyone already thought he and Rin were secretly dating.

_You wish..._

Yukio cleared his throat awkwardly and pushed his glasses up with his fore finger, a sign meaning he really didn't know what to say.

"Somehow I think you really should finish those training sessions a little earlier, Shura", they could hear Yukio mutter as the exorcist shook his head slightly. "But anyway, since _everyone_ seems to be finally present, I think we can move inside. Mr. Shima, could you carry Mr. Suguro's bag in the meantime. Thank you."

As Renzou reluctantly grabbed Bon's bag, not forgetting to complain loudly at the unfairness, Yukio decided to pull Bon away for a moment.

_Okay, here it comes..._ Bon thought wincing and dreaded the lecture he was so sure was coming. What else would Yukio want to talk about. Privately. With him. About the weather? No way. He had seen enough movies to know what his teacher would say next. And he wasn't so sure if he wanted to hear it. Either the exorcist would support them or try to broke them up, even though they never really dated.

But did they really have to have the talk while he was holding Rin in his arms?

"Mr. Okumura...?"

"Just call me Yukio for now", Yukio answered quickly, turned to face him and stared straight to his eyes. "At the moment I'm only Rin's brother, not your teacher."

Bon could only nod to Yukio's words while adjusting his grasp on Rin and trying to hold Yukio's gaze. He really hated it how the younger teen was able to be so... so expressionless.

"And you probably know what this is all about?"

"I have an idea", Bon replied gulping slightly still trying to find even a slightest trace of an emotion from Yukio's eyes. But no avail. How could someone so young act so professional even when talking about their brother's love life?

"Good", Yukio stated and turned his gaze towards his older brother sleeping on Bon's arms. "Then you probably know that everyone is well aware of the feelings between you two." Yukio's lips curved into a small smile, which looked a pretty good sign for Bon. "Some of them have even made bets on when you will make it official."

He felt his eyebrows rise as the suspicion invaded his mind. He had a pretty good hunch on who was behind the idea of betting. Damn it, how much did a roll of duct tape cost again...?

"I know I should be asking about your intentions with my brother, but I'm pretty sure there's no need. Everyone can see that your feelings run really deep", Yukio continued not caring about his dumbfounded expression. "But there are some things you don't know about my brother. Things I can't tell you about, because you really should hear them from Rin himself. All I can do is ask you to understand, when he finally decides to confine on you"

He did know that Rin was keeping things from him, but as Yukio confirmed his fears he felt ultimate _frustration_. They were his friends, damn it. Why couldn't the guy _trust_ them? Had they given him any reason _not to_?

Yukio eyed him as reading his thoughts and let out a heavy sigh. The professionalism seemed to be melting away from Yukio's face.

"Rin's been through a lot", he told Bon a traces of sadness in his voice. "When we grew up, he never had a real friend and he was always alone. And because of all those insults he had to listen to, he learned to lock his emotions in the farthest corner of his mind and wear a mask of constant goofiness." Yukio paused for a moment to rub his eyes behind the thick glasses. "But then Father Fujimoto died and Rin vowed to become an exorcist. He met you guys, the first people he could ever call friends. He got something he never had, a friendship. He started to open up and I even heard him laughing for the first time for years. After a long time, he was finally _happy_."

Bon couldn't help but glance at the teen sleeping quietly in his arms and wonder if what Yukio told was true. How could someone so social be a complete loner? Or was that carefree behavior really just an act? He felt himself gulping. Was that depressed Rin he had got to know during the last weeks – _months_ – really the real one?

Yukio sensing his confusion smiled sadly.

"He doesn't like lying to you, but... He's just so afraid of rejection. He's already so deep that he couldn't bear losing any of you, especially you, Suguro... And because of that... I'm afraid he's giving up", he told him softly. "That's why I have to ask you something. Because otherwise you'll end up hurting each other... If you think you can accept Rin for anything, whatever he is, whatever he has done, I'll support you guys wholeheartedly. But if there's even a slightest hesitation... Please, just stop pestering him about his secrets and don't try to urge him in a relationship. He has enough on his plate already, and if you turn him down..." Yukio trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

_...nothing can save him anymore..._

Sorrow flashed briefly in boy's eyes, which left Bon wondering what really was going on. He felt dread churning in the pit of his stomach, and somehow he just knew that something was really wrong. So Rin wasn't only afraid of the commitment, that much he understood of Yukio's speech. But what kind of secrets could the blue haired teen have been keeping?

"I won't", he managed to say with a dry mouth, his mind returning to their little argument earlier that day. "I have told him a half a million times that he could be a serial killer for all I care. I really like your brother. Nothing would ever change my feelings towards him."

He flushed. That was probably the first time he ever confessed his feelings about Rin to someone else, especially to Rin's own twin brother. Damn he was feeling embarrassed now...

Yukio flashed Bon a small smile, worry still evident in his eyes.

"I wish you're really telling me the truth", he said slowly, exhaling deeply. "All I want is to make Rin happy, but I can't do that alone. He needs you, he needs his friends. He needs someone to watch after him when I'm unable to..." Yukio quieted for a moment and chuckled quietly. "And I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me watching him all the time, anyway..."

Bon was at loss of the words; he really didn't know what to say. It was so rare to see Yukio showing that many emotions at once. Fear, worry, sadness... they just didn't suit their teacher, who usually was so calm and collected. Actually he remembered seeing a similar expression on the face of the young exorcist only once before, during the camp trip.

When _the blue flame_ broke out.

When they almost lost Rin to the flames that no one wanted to explain. That's the only time he saw such a fear on Yukio's face, despair that reminds him of the expression on Rin's face earlier that day. Even though the twins were different as the night and the day, they were also very similar.

So it wasn't very hard to figure out, that whatever was bothering Rin, seemed to be eating Yukio, too.

"But I think that's all for a one night", Yukio suddenly said changing the topic and eying Bon's arm holding Rin's legs once again. Seriously, what was so interesting in his arm? "It's getting late, and tomorrow will be long day. You really should get some sleep. The breakfast will be at eight and we'll start at nine. Make sure to be on time."

And with that Yukio turned on around and headed towards the inn Bon on his heels. Suddenly his face was once again almost expressionless, and Bon could see he had sifted back to the teacher mode.

"And I hope you really can tolerate anything Rin will throw at you", Yukio said glancing them over his shoulder. "You two will be sharing the room number twelve. The door is open, the keys should be in the lock and your belongings should be in the room. If you encounter any problems, I'll be in the room five and Shura in the three."

They arrived to the main door and Yukio stopped for a second his hand still on the door handle, as if he was thinking something very deeply. After a few seconds he moved to open the door to Bon and Rin, a thoughtful expression still on his face.

"I wish you guys luck... And try not to freak out too much, okay?" he said slowly and bit his lip slightly as if doubting his recent decision. Bon was confused as he didn't really understand what Yukio was trying to say. Why would he freak? What the hell? Was the room invaded by rats or something?

"You'll understand soon", the younger teen said as if reading his thoughts once again. Bon shivered, the mind-reading powers Yukio seemed to posses were really getting _creepy_. "And stroking it might help. But if it doesn't, do not pull or squeeze it. That would turn out ugly. Just wake Rin up or have Kuro doing it instead. Good luck."

And with those last words Yukio left Bon standing in the middle of the reception, while he himself strolled towards waiting Shura, who was apparently waiting him with his room keys. The female exorcist eyed them suspicion evident in her eyes and looked at Yukio questioningly.

"_Are you sure about this?"_ Bon could see her lips moving and wondered what was the big deal. It wasn't like they'd kill each other in their sleep. Or molest. Or... That's enough.

He saw Yukio nodding his head and disappearing into the corridor Shura right on his heels, which left Bon in the hall, completely alone with Rin. Mind Kuro of course.

And standing on the soft mattress, Rin in his arms, he finally had time to digest Yukio's earlier words.

_What_ exactly he was supposed to _stroke_?

* * *

Next time: Bon finds out something shocking, and finally some mysteries are solved. Or so he thinks.

* * *

**Hope everyone's having happy holidays! :)**

**Somehow this chapter seemed a lot better in my head, especially the ending, that seems a little rushed to me. Maybe I'll rewrite it later or something... ****I tried to edit this a little earlier today, but then FF's servers seemed to decide that lol nope, we don't like you today... And there went the changes I made... -.-'**

**But anyway, I'm sure the plot wouldn't have changed at all even if I had left this chapter out... But since I already wrote this, I decided I could upload it as well. ****I have the next chapter written out already, so I probably will be able to upload during the holidays. So despite my previous threat, no long waits this time. ;)**

**Thank you for numerous favorites and follows. It's nice to know my work is appreciated! ^^**

**See ya again next week! :)**


	4. Time To Show Your Tail

**Face Your Demons**

_**Chapter four - Time To Show Your Tail  
**_

* * *

Finding the right room turned out to be no challenge to Bon. The inn was filled with clear signs for the rooms, so in no time he was standing by the door of the room twelve. As his somewhat _creepy_ teacher had said, the keys were hanging on the lock and the door was slightly open. Sighing quietly he pushed the door open with the tip of his shoe and swore in his mind that there would be a hell of pay if he happened to find a pack of condoms or a tube of lube or... well, you got the idea, on his nightstand.

He didn't understand what Yukio was trying to do while hinting something like _that_! Or was he warning him on something? Rin didn't turn into a horny little nympho in his sleep, did he?

Not that he would've minded, but...

Damn, he was getting distracted again!

After he managed to snatch the keys from the lock, he stepped in the room quickly, kicked the door closed behind him and took his shoes off. He spent a few seconds taking a look around the room and noticed to his relief that nothing was out of ordinary. There were only two neatly made beds with two matching nightstands, a closet, a small table, apparently a toilet and of course their bags.

He felt his arms starting protest on the strain Rin's weight put on them, so he decided it was the time to tug the young Knight in the bed. Though, getting the covers off the bed proved to be a rather tricky job without hands. Eventually he ended up kicking the covers off with his feet, trying to keep his balance for the whole time. Though the idea sounded pretty appealing, he didn't want to wake the younger teen by throwing him to the floor.

Carefully he lowered the young half demon and his familiar on the bed right next to window, and reached his hands to close the curtains. There was just one problem: he didn't seem to be able to pull his right arm free from Rin's legs.

_What the...?_

He pulled again, but it was no use. He didn't get his arm freed, on contrary, it seemed that the _thing_ holding his arm only tightened its grasp on it. He frowned slightly end lifted Rin's legs with his left hand just enough to see _what_ was trying to cut the circulation in his right arm. Had he managed to get his arm tangled on Rin's belt or something?

To say he was surprised would be an understatement.

It was no belt, that was sure. It was long, black and _furry._ He couldn't exactly say what it was, since there wasn't much light under Rin's legs, but he was sure it wasn't anything normal. Then it moved and Bon felt his breath hitch. On top of all, _the thing_ seemed to be _alive_! What the hell was going on?

Seeing that pulling didn't bring any good results, he decided to twist his arm free from Rin's legs, if nothing else. And to his surprise it worked, kind of. _The thing_ didn't let his arm go, but now he could see it better.

It definitely wasn't a belt. It was a..

He felt his breath hitch as he tried to swallow the lump formed in his throat. There was no way... The thing couldn't have been what he thought it was.

A tail.

_A freaking tail! _It _had_ to be a some kind of _joke_... Why would Rin have a tail? It made no sense! Humans didn't have tails! Only animals did. And demons. But there was no way Rin was a some kind of ape or...

_A demon._

He felt himself halting at the thought. It wasn't impossible, he knew for sure there were half blood exorcists walking around. And on top of all, _their chairman was a freaking demon, too._

Suddenly the idea didn't sound as crazy as it had first sounded.

Could Rin really be a... a demon... a half demon? There was no way a full demon would want to become an exorcist... Or was there?

Bon gulped and continued examining the extra appendage, that apparently belonged to his crush. He didn't even notice how his fingers traveled along the short silken fur, until Rin let out a silent... _purr_...? His fingers stopped instantly at the long fur of the tip of the tail, and he had to wonder if he had heard right. Ever so slowly he lowered his fingers and let them trail along the black fur once again. And this time he really heard Rin purring. There was no denying any more. The extra appendage did indeed belong to his crush. _To his __**half**__ demon crush!_ (He refused to think Rin as a full demon, that just didn't suit the guy.)

_A half demon... _

Hell, did that explain a lot. Especially Rin's demonic features, his strength, his ability to understand Kuro... And the tail. But that didn't explain the reluctance and fear... It was a common knowledge that there were many half demons among the exorcists, wasn't it? So what was Rin so afraid of?

Come to think of it, if the guy didn't seem to know about _the Blue Night_, he probably didn't even know about the other half demon exorcists either.

Bon shook his head amused. That guy was impossible. Was their relationship really almost doomed only because Rin didn't bother to look out a few hard facts? All he had to do was to ask Yukio and...

_Yukio._

That one didn't make any sense... So their teacher was also a half demon, and he surely was aware of the other half-bloods walking among the humans. So why had Bon seen such a desperation in the eyes of his teacher earlier? Something didn't add up... Why would the Okumura brothers be so afraid of their possible rejection? They were half-demons, so what? What's the big deal?

Unless there was something else going on... But what kind of a secret could make them feel so uneasy and afraid?

Bon frowned and let his thumb slide over the black fur. Another purr left Rin's throat, but he paid no attention. He didn't even notice how Rin's tail lessened it's hold on his arm, curling around his hand instead.

The curiosity and worry were killing him. He was damn sure he was going to force the answers out of Rin one way or another, not caring if Rin thought it his business or not. He didn't want to keep guessing anymore.

"You sure are full of mysteries", he whispered silently and rested his head on his left arm, not averting his eyes from Rin even for a second. "I just wish you could open up more."

He felt Rin's tail curling around his fingers, and he couldn't stop himself from rubbing it gently. The fur on the extra appendage stood up slightly at his touch, and he couldn't help chuckling at the soft purrs he heard coming from Rin's throat.

Realizing he was still carrying Rin's sword he carefully untied the strap and placed the weapon against Rin's nightstand. After that he glanced briefly his own bed, noticing how tired he felt. But the bed seemed to be so far away. Too far from Rin.

Besides, it seemed that Rin's tail wasn't going to let go any time soon.

Not caring that there would be a hell to pay when Rin woke the next morning, he settled himself next to the young Exwire on the bed, placing his hand with the tail between them. Letting his eyes wander around Rin's calm face, he had to fight the urge to just reach his arms and pull the snoring half demon closer to his chest. For a moment he toyed around the idea. Rin's face would be priceless! At least before the Knight-in-training threw him into a wall...

A quiet snickering woke him from his thoughts, and he had to avert his gaze from Rin's features only to see Kuro staring him with those huge green eyes of his. He wasn't sure if he dreamed or not, but was it usual for a cat to look so... triumph? But then again... that was a demon cat he was speaking about...

Suddenly Kuro stood up and jumped off the bed. For a second Bon thought he saw the cat winking at him just before taking off, but that couldn't have been possible, could it? Blinking once or twice he turned his head to look at the small cat, which definitely wasn't small anymore! He felt his brows touching his two-colored hairline, as he watched the _gigantic_ cat strolling leisurely towards the door and apparently towards the light switch, since a few seconds later the room was invaded by darkness.

While lying next to Rin he wasn't sure what to think. He felt _somebody_ pulling a blanket on them and then _jumping_ on his chest. Damn, his crush happened to be a half demon and own a size-changing demon cat. Was this what Yukio meant by accepting Rin for anything?

_What have I gotten myself into...?_

* * *

_It would be an understatement to say Rin was having a good day._

_First he had woken up in his boyfriend's arms at nine a.m, only to notice that Yukio had already left on a mission and given them the first three classes free. _

_And then, after a pretty heated hour, he had smelled fresh coffee. After dragging themselves downstairs, they were greeted by Ukobach and the amazing breakfast the demon had made. Only for them._

_Then there had been the shower, that was everything else but _cold_. _

_Some time later they were sitting next to each other in the demonology class, waiting for their latest test results. He was sure that was the point, where the day turned out to be worse. But no. As he got the paper, he wasn't able to tear his eyes off the solid 100 marring the pale paper. A smile split his face in half as he reached to thank his tutor, by planting a kiss on those soft lips of his._

_The next period was P.E, but the decided to use the period better by thanking his amazing tutor and boyfriend _ properly_ in the janitor's closet._

_Then came the last class for the day, and he was sure nothing could ruin it anymore._

_Ha sat with his faux hawked boyfriend in the middle row holding hands under the table and watched as the other students filled the room one by one. The teacher (a.k.a Yukio) hadn't arrived yet, which meant he hadn't been late even once during the day. Sweet! His day had went so well, he almost wondered if he had been dreaming for the whole time. But that wasn't possible, his dreams were usually nightmares – or had been, until he started sleeping in Bon's arms._

_He felt a thumb rubbing gently on the back of his hand and he turned his head slightly to meet Bon's hazel orbs. The older teen grinned, and he couldn't help but smile back when the Aria-in-training grabbed his chair and pulled him even closer. _

"_You look thoughtful", the older teen murmured and leaned closer to brush their lips briefly together. "Something I should know about?"_

_Rin chuckled silently as his hands trailed along Bon's chest to his neck and hair. As the dark locks curled around his fingers, he pressed himself against the older teen, not breaking the eye contact even for a second._

"_I'm just thinking how lucky bastard I am to have you."_

"_Lucky, indeed", was Bon's only reply as he chuckled, lowered his head and pressed his lips fully on Rin's, obviously not caring that they were in the middle of the class._

_Feeling Bon's lips on his own, Rin let his eyes close and grabbed a fistful of Bon's shirt pulling the other teen even closer. If that was even possible. Voices faded into the background, and all he could feel was Bon's soft lips on his own and a strong tongue exploring his mouth. He didn't care that they might have been disturbing the other students._

_He didn't even notice how the whole classroom became suddenly still. And quiet. A little too quiet._

"_I see you've started using your filthy demon powers to seduce humans too... But, no longer."_

_And then a rough hand grabbed him around the neck and pulled them apart._

_He could hear Bon crying out in surprise, as he was showed backwards and tackled to the ground. He let out a low grunt and tried to reach his sword, but in a flash a hot searing pain shot up his arm, and a he howled in pain._

"_Rin!" he heard Bon shouting somewhere far away, panicked. "What the hell you think you're doing!? Let him go!"_

_Gritting his teeth, Rin turned his face away from the floor, trying not to look at his shredded arm, and lifted his face to meet Angel's stone hard eyes. He felt a growl leave his throat and a flicker of blue of his flames flashed through his vision._

"_What am I doing, is sending this demon back to Gehenna, where he belongs... Right next to his bastard father!" the blonde said sneering down at him and lifting the bloody sword on his chin. "Someone lift it up."_

_Rough hands grabbed his arms and hoisted him upwards, making him face Angel, exorcists, his classmates... and Bon. The shock was evident on his boyfriend's face. And fear. And doubt._

"_B-Bon... I..."_

"_Rin Okumura, the son of Satan", Angel said not giving him change to finish his sentence. Bon's eyes widened. "You're under arrest for being a potential threat to pretty much everyone. The Grigori has ordered me to arrest you and execute you immediately."_

_But he couldn't listen to anything Angel was saying. His eyes were completely fixed on Bon, who had moved from shocked to betrayed and angry. And then there were the disgust._

"_Satan's son...?"_

"_B-Bon..." he choked as the tears started to fall. The expression on Bon's face was one straight from his nightmares. A face filled with anger and disgust. As seeing those hard feelings he knew. He knew, and that made his heart break._

_Bon could never accept him._

"_Don't... Not even a word..." Bon said backing away from him and shaking his two-colored head in denial. "This whole time... The whole fucking time... you have been playing with my feelings... You... lying..."_

"_B-but... I..."_

"_Not. A. Word!" Bon suddenly hissed and glared him with eyes full of disgust and anger. "You filthy demon! Saying you're the one to beat Satan... Was that some cruel joke? Or don't answer, of course it was. All you demons can do is to play with us humans, with our feelings... With out bodies..."_

_He gagged and spat on the floor._

"_You disgust me... I don't want to see you ever again..."_

_And with that his heart broke for good. _

_He took a look around the room and noticed how no one seemed to want to stand up for him. Not even his own brother, who was standing by teacher's desk, scowling at him. The students had backed away from him and stood in the farthest corner of the room, staring at him with terrified eyes._

"_Time to go, the spawn of Satan", Angel said a cruel smirk on his face as he began to pull Rin towards the door. "Your time is up."_

"_NO!"_

"Rin...?"

_Not realizing what he was doing he let his flames burst out forcing the exorcists release him. He couldn't think anymore, the pain was just too great. He only wanted Bon to understand, accept him. Not caring about the consequences, he freed himself and dashed forward, towards his now ex-boyfriend. Shouts filled the room, but he paid no attention to them. _

_Then there was a shot. _

_And another. And another. _

_Burning pain shot up from his chest. Every single bullet hit their target and pierced his body, his lungs, his demon heart, his human heart, his heart. Once again he screamed in pain._

"Hey, Rin...?"

_Bullets filled with holy water burned his wounds, and for a moment he wondered if it was what those demons felt when he burned them back to Gehenna._

"_B-Bon..."_

_He felt himself falling. Blood splattered on the floor._

_Drip, drip._

_He tried to look at those beautiful hazel eyes for one more time. To see even the slightest trace of an emotion of some sorts._

"Damn it, Rin!"

_But no avail._

"_...'m sorry..."_

_The blackness embraced him gently._

"Wake up!"

"_...ve you..."_

_He never felt himself hitting the floor._

"Rin!"

_And then... nothing..._

* * *

"_RIN WAKE UP, DAMN IT!"_

Instantly Rin jolted awake, sitting upright on his bed and curling in a tight ball. He felt his body trembling and there was nothing he could do about it. Tears kept pouring from his eyes as the memories from his nightmare kept flashing through his mind.

Suddenly somebody sat next to him and pulled him in a warm embrace. He recognized the muscular body and the masculine scent right away and buried his face in Bon's toned chest wrapping his arms around the other teen's torso.

"Shh... Everything's okay... It was just a nightmare..." Bon whispered quietly and rocked him gently back and forth. "It's alright now..."

Rin hiccupped and shook his head slightly. How could everything be okay if Bon just broke his heart in pieces only a few moments ago? Even if it was a dream, it hurt like a hell.

And now he couldn't stop crying. How pathetic.

"Want to talk about it...?" he heard Bon ask, hesitantly.

All he did was to shake his head once again and hold Bon even tighter. He felt his tail grasping something, too, but he was too messed to even think about it.

The young Aria-to-be sighed and rested his head on Rin's soft bluish hair. He was sure Rin's tail was going to leave bruises on his arm. But if that made the young half demon feel better, he had nothing to complain about. He just wanted to see the happy Rin for a chance, it had been too long since he last saw Rin smiling genuinely.

They sat like that for what felt like hours. No one would know since they didn't bother to look at the clock. But eventually Rin decided to let go, feeling utterly embarrassed. Keeping his gaze on his hands he distanced himself slowly from Bon's chest.

"Feeling any better?" Bon asked gently, trying not to laugh at Rin's flushed expression. He couldn't stop himself from thinking how cute Rin looked like that.

"...Yeah... I guess... Thanks..." Rin muttered and tried to dry his eyes with his sleeves. While doing that, he noticed wet stains on Bon's white shirt and grimaced slightly. "Sorry about your shirt."

Bon arched an eyebrow and looked down noticing the stains for the first time.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. I was going to change it anyway", he said chuckling quietly. "I'm just glad you're okay. You gave me quite a scare..."

Rin felt blood rushing to his face and he had to avert his eyes from Bon once again. Damn, why he had always pull off the tomato imitation around the skunk-head...? He tried to look anything else but Bon's goddamned face, but every now and then he would glance back at those hazel orbs only to notice Bon smirking him back. Damn the guy enjoyed making him feel so... flushed!

He left out a small grunt and hugged himself hiding his face in his knees. Seriously, what was wrong with the guy? Was Bon a some kind of sadistic bastard, who enjoyed torturing him all the time? And what was the cock-wannabe doing on his bed?

Come to think about it... Where were they? And why was he sharing a room_ and a bed_ with Bon of all people? What the heck?

"Were at the inn, in our room", Bon stated as reading his mind and smirked at his dumbfounded expression. "Your Sleeping Beauty play was so good that I didn't have a heart to wake you up and ended up carrying you here. So, you're welcome."

"No fucking way..." Rin muttered and pressed his head in his hands feeling even more embarrassed than before. "Don't say you were carrying me around the village for the whole evening..." He groaned at Bon's confirming silence. "I so am not going to live this down, ever... And you... Damn, what the hell are you doing on my bed?"

"Sleeping, obviously."

"I can see that. But _why_? You have your own, you skunk-head!"

"Hey, it's not my fault your tail wouldn't let me go!"

"But you could have -" Rin started, but abruptly stopped when realizing what Bon had just said. The blood left his face in matter of seconds and he was sure his eyes were going to bulge out of their sockets. "W-what d-did you just say...?"

* * *

Next time: Bon gets some answers and Rin doesn't know what to do. It's also time to slay some demons.

* * *

**Wow, Rin's finally awake! And clichés... gotta love 'em~  
**

**And guest reviews, before I forget:**

_**Guest:**_** Wow, I didn't even think of that. Maybe I could write a spin-off of some sorts after I finish this. Thank you for the review and the great idea! ****  
**

**_Haunted Pants:_ You'll see~ Thank you for your review!  
**

**Thank you everyone who favoured, followed, reviewed and even read the story. I'm positively surprised how many hits this has gotten already :O I'm trying to get the next chapter done for the next Thursday, but I can't promise anything, since I'll return home on Monday and I don't have any more chapters written out. But let's hope. Otherwise _I_ might get crazy because of lack of writing... ._.**

**Any kind of feedback is always appreciated! ^^ **

**See you all soon!**


	5. Haunting Memories

**Face Your Demons**

_**Chapter five - Haunting Memories  
**_

* * *

He hoped he really had heard wrong. He really, really hoped, wished, begged, prayed every possible godlike creature that Bon just had not said what he thought he had heard. This couldn't be happening. After everything he had been through... Not now... _Never_...

But Bon only arched an eyebrow and lifted his hand. _With Rin's demon tail curled around it!_

His life was offically over.

If his tail had acted on its own again... It wouldn't be too far fetched he had used his powers in his sleep too... He remembered the nightmare and his flames that burned all those exorcists to ashes. He knew he sometimes burned stuff while seeing a very bad dream, but that happened very rarely. Nevertheless, it still happened sometimes... He wasn't even sure if Yukio knew, at least his younger brother had never mentioned anything.

Gulping he took a look around the room, hoping nothing was on fire. Luckily his prays were answered this time. Or so he thought, until his eyes trained on the curtains hanging right next to his bed.

There were burn marks all over them. He had burned the curtains in his sleep. And Bon had probably – definitely – seen everything! His logical mind told him he was overreacting badly, but he quickly shoved it out of the way. He felt panic filling his mind and the only thing he could think about was Bon knowing his secret.

_Bon knew... Oh my god... _

Rin was sure his heart stopped for a moment as he saw the black fur hugging his friend's arm and the small black spots marring the curtains. Everything slowed down. Almost like the time lord was slowing time, just to torment him. In a flash his whole life went past his eyes. He remembered every time he was let down. Every single curse aimed at him. He remembered every damn nightmare he had had about Bon finding out the truth and every possible aftermath of the discovery.

_Disgust, hatred and pain... _

_Tears, blood and ashes..._

He took a deep breath to calm himself down, then another... and another. His heart had started beating again, but now it felt like it was trying to break through his ribcage. Blood rushed through his veins as he kept sitting still, frozen to his place.

His eyes were locked on his black tail in disbelief. Then he gulped and found himself looking at Bon's face. Then his own palms. Then the extra appendage, once again hoping it didn't belong to him. But that was just a plain foolish thing to think, he could have recognized the tail even in his sleep. How could it _not_ be his?

Closing his eyes for second and exhaling deeply he concentrated on uncurling the tail from Bon's arm, and soon after he felt the extra appendage lessening it's hold and laying on his lap. Out of habit his hands grasped the end of the tail and started to comb the messy thicker hair at the tip, not being able to gaze in Bon's direction anymore.

He knew he should say something, but his lips felt like they were glued together. He just couldn't make himself move his jaw and tongue out of the fear of blurting something that would land him even deeper in the mess he had created. He couldn't believe it... Was he really exposed because he couldn't control his demon form and powers in his sleep?

His tail twitched as if confirming everything.

_Why...?_

A lump formed in his throat as he stared at his extra appendage laying on his lap. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. Bon wasn't supposed to know. Not before the exam, not before his execution. Or not before the very unlikely graduation. Or not at all...

_Not like this..._

He refused to look at the _disgust_ on Bon's face and closed his eyes. _The rejection_ was bad enough in his nightmares, and he definitely didn't want to see it in the real life too. He couldn't breathe. It was over... o_ver... over..._ As the word echoed in his mind the fear grasped his insides, and his hands, his whole body, started to shake.

"Rin..."

He shook his head furiously and clasped his hands on his ears, not wanting to hear those words of disgust coming from Bon's mouth. The horrors from his nightmare – _nightmares_ – kept playing in his head, reminding him of what kind of _freak_ he was, what would happen if he opened himself to somebody... What happened if certain _someone_ broke his heart making him _lose it._

_Blood... Screams..._

He backed away from his love interest. The bed sheets tangled around his ankles making it hard to move them anymore and forcing him to stop. He felt the bed cracking under Bon's weight as the faux hawked teen came closer.

_No more..._

Strong fingers curled around his wrists and tugged them gently, but all he did was to press his palms even tighter on his temples and shake the hands off. No, he wouldn't go through this again. Never again. He had been left down so many times during his life that he wasn't sure if he could take it anymore. If he heard those words coming from Bon's lips one more time... He didn't even want to think the consequences.

_Make them pay..._

"Rin, please listen to me..."

_Burn!_

"No!" the word escaped from his lips before he even noticed the quiet cry. His breaths came out as rapid huffs, and he was sure he wasn't far from hyperventilating. "I don't want to hear it... J-just... Just leave me alone... I understand... I-I r-really... do..."

"You're really an idiot, aren't you?" he heard Bon chuckling softly. _Chuckling!_ Never before had he heard Bon laughing after finding out the truth, which was enough to make him crack his eyelids open. Only a little. To see what was so amusing.

"Do you seriously think I would hate you for having a tail or something?" the older teen asked shaking his head slowly and lowering his hand on Rin's thigh. A small smile painted on his lips never disappeared. "Do you really think so little of me?"

Rin was unable to answer. He let his eyes wander around Bon's face searching for even a slightest trace of disgust, anger, hate or any other negative emotion. But he found nothing. He could only spot a great deal of _amusement_ and a little _relief_ in Bon's brown eyes, which really confused him.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Why didn't Bon hate him like every other night? Why wasn't the young Aria looking for his death verse already?

As he failed to answer Bon's previous question, the older Exwire sighed and closed his eyes for moment, the amusement disappearing in a matter of seconds. He probably thought that Rin's silence was an affirmative answer (and that it really was) and frowned slightly. But then, without saying a word, he crawled next to Rin, reached his arms and pulled the blue-haired teen against his well-toned chest.

The action took Rin completely by surprise. His breath hitched as he felt Bon's warm body and arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. His instincts told him to run, run as far as he could go, away from the faux hawked teen.

But in the end, he did nothing. His body simply refused to move. And he knew the confrontation would be inevitable, so what would it help to run away? He would only get more time to fill his head with false hope, and when he finally have courage to face Bon... and the guy rejects him... He would be even more broken.

He was scared. Damn frightened. He didn't know what to do.

And the cock-head didn't make things any easier by holding him like a baby.

"Calm down, you idiot", Bon suddenly decided to speak after a rather long silence. "As I told you already, I don't hate you. I could never do that. Even if you were a full blooded demon... But you're only a half demon, right?"

Bon's words felt like somebody pierced his heart with a dagger, and Rin could only nod slowly, unsure what the other was going to say or do. Hearing Bon say his darkest secret aloud only made it only feel more real. He wished he would have been able to believe Bon's words, but after hearing them so many times in his dreams, he just couldn't. Not if Bon could turn against him any minute and stab him in the back. It had happened before in his nightmares, so what would stop it happening in the real life too?

He felt his body starting to shake and there was nothing he could do about it. He could only shut his eyes and hope that everything was just another bad dream... Another very realistic nightmare.

To his surprise he felt Bon's hold on him only tightening. The older teen pressed his face on Rin's blue hair and let his hands stroke gently Rin's sides. It almost felt like Bon was trying to comfort him. But why would the cock-head do that? He was a _demon_! The son of _Satan_ himself! He didn't deserve any comforting so why...?

Could it be... that Bon really was _accepting_ him...?

_You know that will never happen._

But if it did... Bon even said...

_No._ He heard his inner voice saying sternly, trying to turn his head._ His betrayal. The sinister smile on his face as he handed you to the Vatican. The cruel laugh... You should remember that._

Why should he remember something he didn't want to? The dream kept flashing through his mind even if he tried everything to forget it. It was one of his nightmares... one of those dreams that felt like a real thing... One of those dreams that first gave him hope making Bon accept him. But in the end the other Exwire always betrayed him... Stabbed him in the back... Both figuratively and literally... Handed him to the Vatican to be executed.

Those "memories" haunted him every day. Making him doubt his own decisions and other people... Making him lose the trust on others... Whatever he did, he never managed to forget them. Those _memories_ of Bon... hating him, betraying him, killing him. Why couldn't he just forget them? Why did he have to live through them all the time?

_Because they are true. You know it will happen eventually._

He didn't want to hear that crap anymore... He shouted at his inner voice to shut up. He didn't care if it was his demon, doubting or logical side speaking. He just wanted it to _shut up!_

"You know... this actually explains a lot", Bon suddenly said completely obvious to Rin's inner fight and shook his head slightly. "You idiot. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have understood..."

_Would you really have?_

"I wasn't joking when I said I would accept you for _anything_", the young Aria-to-be murmured quietly when he realized Rin still wasn't going to answer him. Again. "You're not the first and surely not the last exorcist with demon blood in their veins. Why should I hate you?"

Not really getting what Bon was saying, Rin took a shaky breath and leaned back to turn his eyes on the ceiling. He really wanted to believe his friend, but he was just so _afraid_. What if Bon betrayed him and broke his heart? And did the other teen even realize what he was saying? He was Satan's bastard son, how could Bon still love someone like that?

His both hands curled in fists and he had to close his eyes. He took another deep breath to settle his racing heart. Damn... the four-eyes was going to pay for this.

"W-what do you want m-me to say?" he finally managed to choke out and turned his eyes far away from Bon as possible. "Y-you're going to be an exorcist and I-I'm-"

"Going to be an exorcist, too", Bon frustratedly cut the younger teen off before he even had time to finish his sentence. Right after that he felt fingers touching his chin, and before he could even blink his head was turned abruptly to meet a pair of irritated hazel eyes. "Did you listen a thing I just said? You. Are. Not. The. Only. Half. Demon. Exorcist. Around. Here!" Bon said emphasizing every word and gliding his hands to Rin's cheeks. "Hell, I'm sure there are dozens of them in our school! Even our chairman is a freaking demon too!"

Rin only blinked not being able to believe what he was hearing. If Bon told him the truth... It had never occurred to him that there might have been other people too. For the whole time he had been thinking he was the only one with demon blood. That being half demon was somehow unusual and commonly despised. But now... Damn, was he really the only one with a tail?

"There are others too...?"

"_Of course there is!_ That's common knowledge! Were you raised in the woods or something?"

_You could say that..._ Rin thought wincing and shook Bon's hands off from his face. After all, six months ago he didn't even know that demons existed! Or that he was one. Or that his own twin brother _was a freaking exorcist!_

Suddenly someone slammed the door of the next room closed waking Rin from his thoughts. He felt Bon stiffen and no doubt the other Exwire had also heard the noise and realized others were getting up. It wouldn't take long till Yukio or Shura came to knock their door to wake them up... and check if they were still alive.

"What I'm trying to say..." Bon quickly said sighing and resting his forehead on Rin's. He knew there wasn't much time before they would be _woken up_, but he still wanted to get his point across. "None of us would have treated you any different even if we knew the truth. Your mother – or father – was in a relationship with some random demon – so what? Why should we hate you for something you had no say to?"

Bon's words hit him like a ton of bricks, crushing every spark of hope in his body. No, it couldn't be... When he finally thought he could be accepted...

_He doesn't know..._

He felt like choking and averted his eyes from the older teen.

Bon didn't know about _Satan_...

The cock-head though he was son of some low or mid level demon. Bon hadn't seen him burn with Satan's flames...

He almost laughed at his stupidity and naïvety. It had been too easy anyway. After all, knowing the guy, Bon would never have accepted the truth as easily as he just had, how could he even think something else? All those seemingly loving gestures were not meant for the real him. Not for the demon prince. Not for Satan's son.

He should have learned his lesson already. But no. He just had to reach for every possible spark of hope, even if it meant breaking his heart even more.

_Just like in my nightmares..._

Suddenly Bon's closeness was too much for him to bear and he had to get away. His eyes started to burn and he couldn't breathe. Already missing the warmth radiating from Bon's body he twisted himself free and stepped away from the faux hawked teen.

"Rin..."

Just as the word left Bon's mouth, a sharp knock could be heard from the door.

"You guys still alive?" Shura called behind the door obviously not daring to step in. And maybe it was good that way. The woman didn't need to see Rin almost breaking down.

"Yeah, we just woke up", Rin answered trying to make himself sound completely normal and stood up, still refusing to look at Bon.

"Good. The breakfast will be served in thirty minutes. You boys had better show up by then", the female exorcist said before walking away, most likely to wake the other students up.

"Rin...?"

"Please Bon, just drop it", Rin said desperately as a couple of tears escaped from his eyes and rolled down to his cheeks. He couldn't take it anymore... Why did his life have to be so complicated and difficult? "You... I... We can't do this... Y-you still don't know everything, and I'm not ready to tell you. I'm not sure if I will ever be..." he gulped silently and let a lone sob escape between his lips. "I-I don't want to lead you on... I could n-never do that to y-you... I-I..."

He couldn't continue. His whole body was shaking as the tears kept pouring from his eyes. Damn... When he had gotten so weak? Why was he weeping like a love sick girl? Yukio was the one to cry all the time, not him!

He heard his bed creaking as Bon lifted himself up and stepped closer to him. His whole body stiffened, which luckily made Bon stop a few feet behind him.

"The thing between us... It won't last", he said almost whispering and reached for the towel on the nightstand. "Everything will be over in three months, anyway, so what's the point? By then you will hate me and regret every second we spent together..." he pressed the soft white towel on his chest and inhaled it's soft scent. It smelt like flowers and tears, what a bittersweet combination.

"It'd only be better if we didn't do anything we would both regret later..."

"You wouldn't know that without trying", he heard the Aria-in-training saying softly and he almost could feel Bon's warm breath on his neck. "And why three months, Rin? What's going to happen?"

But there was no way Rin would have been able to answer that... There's no gently way to tell somebody you're going to be executed in mere three months if you don't pass the exorcist exam. Which, by the way, seemed more and more unlikely each passing day.

"Just forget it... I-it doesn't concern you", he told Bon unable to look at those hazel brown eyes and stepped towards the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower... You'd better start getting ready too..."

And with that he disappeared through the bathroom door leaving confused Bon standing alone in the middle of their room and wondering what had just happened.

In the bathroom Rin stripped himself of his clothes, threw them around the floor and stepped in the shower. With shaking hands he turned the water on and let the warm liquid caress his demonic skin. But he couldn't feel anything as the ache in his heart was almost unbearable. Tears kept falling from his eyes as his legs disappeared from underneath and he slid to the floor.

And sitting on the cold flagged floor he finally gave up and _wept_.

* * *

"_**You're being completely unreasonable, Rin!"**_

Rin looked briefly at his familiar walking beside him and sighed shaking his head slightly. Kuro had been nagging him ever since he got out of his shower of thirty minutes ten minutes ago, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to listen to it anymore. He knew Kuro only meant well, but the demon cat was a little too keen in intervening with his relationships.

"Please Kuro... You know why I can't make move on _him_", he said quietly, avoiding using Bon's name. He knew the inn was pretty empty, but he still didn't want anyone eavesdropping on them. "It would only turn out ugly... It's better if we just stayed friends for now..."

"_**But it looks like he's not agreeing with you"**_, Kuro said and meowed ticked. For a moment Rin was sure he saw a frown marring his familiar's face. _**"And according to the last night, he's pretty understanding too. I'm sure he wouldn't freak if you told him the truth..."**_

"No, he wouldn't freak... he would be furious and try to kill me", Rin said dryly and averted his eyes from Kuro's green ones. He knew Kuro had a point, but still he found his chest tightening out of the fear or rejection. There was a little chance of Bon accepting him, but he wasn't ready to take a risk like that. In his eyes, the odds were that Bon would rather reject than accept him. And that _hurt._

"_**You're over thinking again... He didn't freak last night when he saw your tail, Rin. He actually looked rather relieved, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. And then he comforted and tried to talk some sense in you... You should at least give him a chance."**_

"I-I'd like to... But can you even imagine how much it'd hurt him when he found out I had been lying to him for the whole time?" he said quietly, almost whispering. "I don't want to... He... I-I... He deserves someone better than me."

He heard Kuro snorting next to him as they turned the corridor left. Damn, he really had no idea where they were. How could they get lost in a _inn_?

"_**And do you have any idea how badly it would hurt him if he found out the truth **_**after**_** you were executed because you had given up? And if he accepted you?"**_ Kuro wasn't finished yet. _**"Do you have any idea how he would start blaming himself?"**_

"You speak like you know what he would do..." Rin only answered, avoiding answering to Kuro's questions. It wasn't like he had never thought about Bon blaming himself... But in his opinion the chances were very slim. Bon hated Satan with passion, so why would he love Satan's son?

"_**I've lived on this planet for 121 years, that's eight times your age. So I guess it's safe to assume I have seen a little more than you"**_, Kuro said and snorted again shaking his hairy head from left to right and back. _**"Besides, everyone can see how in love you two are. He **_**loves you**_**, Rin. And I'm sure you would see that too, if you weren't so wrapped in your nightmares all the time!"**_

"I know that, Kuro... But still..." Rin answered quietly and trained his eyes on the wooden ceiling. His hands found their ways in his pockets, and he was sure he was going to start shaking again. And crying. Even though he had ran out of tears fifteen minutes ago.

He knew that maybe he listened his inner voice a bit too much, but when you have no one to talk to, you start talking to yourself. Even if your conversation partner, who always seemed to want to make your life a living hell, happened to be a very wicked and cruel version of you. And his nightmares... That's what they were. Nightmares. Dreams. Not real. But still he found himself dreading them. What if those things really happened?

Sensing Rin was going through an internal battle once again, Kuro let out a sigh.

"_**I can't tell you what to do, Rin... It's completely up to you if you want to tell your secret to Bon or not, we won't spill the beans for you"**_, the voice of the small sidhe cat echoed through Rin's mind and he couldn't but wince at the sadness radiating from Kuro's voice. _**"But remember... Hiding it will only hurt you two more. I can already begin to see the strain it's putting on your 'relationship' and I don't want to see it getting worse."**_

Rin sighed knowing that Kuro spoke only the truth. He really hated to be the one letting everyone down lately, but what could he do? Everyone thought he was very strong both physically and mentally (well, Bon surely didn't think that way anymore), but in reality he really wasn't. He was a coward. He was afraid all the time. He even risked Bon's mental well-being and happiness in the fear of the possible rejection.

And that was a very selfish thing to do.

* * *

Next time: Now's the real time to slay the demons x'D

* * *

**Wow, talk about the OOCness and bipolarness. Maybe I really shouldn't upload these at 3am. Or keep two-week breaks between writing the paragraphs... Oh well... I have re-read this like four times today, so I'm pretty much done with this chapter for now. Even if it's not the best I've written this far...**

**But I did get a plot bunny while writing the conversation between Rin and Kuro. Damn, now I have like 30 stories waiting to be written xD**

**Oh, and hello there! Sorry I'm a bit late... I had some things to do, like waiting for the northern lights to show themselves, but no. Of course the sky had to be clouded... My typical luck :C**

**Thank you once again everyone who made my day by reviewing, following, favouriting and even reading the story! And btw, we broke 1000 hits the other day! Love you guys! :3**

**See you again the next week! **


	6. Boys' Morning Out

**Face Your Demons**

_**Chapter six - Boys' Morning Out**_

* * *

As usual, Rin was over ten minutes late, Bon noted after glancing his wristwatch for umpteenth time that morning. He should have gotten used to Rin's lateness already, but he still couldn't shake off the unpleasant feeling churning in his stomach. After all, Rin hadn't been in the best mental condition when Kuro had kicked him out of their room and Renzou had dragged him off to the breakfast. He really shouldn't have left before he had made sure Rin was okay... Who knows what the guy could do while having a breakdown like that? But then again... Kuro was with Rin and surely the demon cat wouldn't let the guy do anything stupid, right?

_Five minutes... And then I will go and drag him here by myself._

He sifted on his seat, tugging his sleeves to hide the forming bruises on his arm and looked at the pointers once again. They had hardly moved. He he let out a quiet sigh and leaned back on his chair.

His morning had been far from what he had imagined it to be. He had thought that by telling Rin it was completely okay to be a half demon, the guy would finally have opened up. But no. For a moment it had seemed like Rin truly was going to trust him, but suddenly the half demon retreated back to his shell. Somehow he managed to land them back in the square one, and that was definitely frustrating.

He didn't understand what he had done wrong. He didn't care if Rin happened to be a half demon. He wanted to help the guy any way possible and make Rin trust him. But still, whatever he did, he didn't seem to get through the thick skull of the blue haired Exwire.

_And those secrets of his..._

Even though the whole half demon thing was revealed to him the previous night, he still wanted to know more. For the fuck's sake... He really was getting tired of Rin keeping things from him. Especially if they concerned him. Of course it was okay to have a few secrets, but enough is enough. At least Rin could tell him why they couldn't be together! The usual "You'd better without me" and "You'd hate me" were seriously getting old. He deserved to know the truth.

And he was going to make damn sure Rin understood that.

"You okay, Bon?" Renzou's voice jolted him awake from his thoughts, making him almost spill his orange juice on the table. Cursing silently he glared at the pink haired Aria-in-training sitting next to him and stuffing food in that large mouth of his.

"I'm fine. Why'd you ask?"

"Because you have barely touched your food ever since we came here!" Renzou stated and pointed at his half eaten sandwich. "And not to mention that you have been staring at a freaking napkin for five minutes straight! Something is bugging you and I want to know what!"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Bullshit", Renzou snorted crossing his arms on his chest and eyed Bon a mischievous grin on his face. "Did something happen between you and your boyfriend last night?"

Bon felt his brows furrowing as he saw Renzou's smirk only widening. The guy just didn't know when to quit. His and Rin's relationship had nothing to do with the pink haired teen or anyone. Why these people couldn't just let them be?

"Nothing happened, if you must know", he said with a low voice and kept glaring at the other teen. "Not that it was your business anyway..."

"That's just cold!"

"...and he's not my boyfriend. Is it that hard to believe?" he finished not caring about Renzou's exclamation and brought his fingers to rub the bridge of his nose. Damn, why did everyone, mainly Renzou, have to remind him how messed his and Rin's relationship was? He surely was getting older every time he had to talk with the pink haired Exwire. The guy was acting like a teenager girl!

"You keep saying that, but at the same time your actions tell otherwise."

Bon let out a frustrated groan and hit his head to the table trying to tune Renzou out. They had had a conversation like that in the bus the previous evening, did they really have to repeat it once again? In front of everyone.

"What I have to do to make you shut up?" he groaned face still planted against the hard wood. Renzou only laughed at the obvious embarrassment and irritation radiating from his voice.

"Let's see... First I'd like you to... Oh, look! Your boyfriend is here!"

Bon sighed knowing that it would be useless to remind Renzou not to call Rin his boyfriend (though he had admit it sounded pretty nice). But when the pinkhead was determined to do something, there was nothing he could do stop that. So instead he settled with lifting his head and looking at Rin, who just had entered the dining room Kuro on his heels.

He didn't know what to expect, maybe even a little sadness in those blue eyes, but instead he got nothing. Rin had tucked his tail securely away and was once again wearing one of those masks of his. Besides the obvious fake smile, there wasn't a single emotion on his face.

The young half demon strolled leisurely to their table and dropped to the seat right next to Shiemi. The electric blue eyes flashed briefly towards Bon, but only for a second, and after that they returned to the other occupants of the table. Bon knew he shouldn't be offended by the lack of attention he got from Rin. It was only understandable that the guy was pretty embarrassed after the episode earlier that morning.

Nevertheless, it still hurt.

"Morning."

"Good morning, Rin", Shiemi said beaming at her friend. "Slept well?"

"More and less", Rin answered yawning and reaching for the bread. "You?"

"I have never slept better! The bed was so soft I didn't want to get up at all!" the blonde told him a dreamy look in her eyes as she looked at something no one else could see. Bon heard Renzou stifling a laughter right next to him, and no doubt the pink head was imagining something inappropriate again. Pervert.

Izumo suddenly snorted.

"And for the whole morning I have been forced to listen to her going on about how soft the beds were", she said shaking her purple haired head back and forth. "I wonder if she actually sleeps on the floor at her home..."

Hearing her words, Shiemi's face turned scarlet and Rin laughed.

And Bon couldn't stop wondering how pretty voice it was. Damn, he really had it bad.

"Alright, class", Yukio's voice cut them off as the young exorcist made his presence known, standing in front of the student group in his full exorcist attire. "I hope everyone is ready for the day?"

Most of students nodded their heads, but Rin only glanced at his brother horrified and started to stuff more and more food in his mouth. Bon tried really hard not to laugh, but there was no way he could have stopped a small smile tugging at his lips. Even though Rin's eating habits were kind of disgusting, he couldn't keep himself from thinking how cute the other teen looked when worry and anxiety weren't painting that beautiful face of his.

"Rin, please stop stuffing yourself with the food, you have all time you need. We still need to discuss a few things before I can let you guys leave", Yukio said shaking his head and rubbing his face under the glasses.

Rin stopped the chopsticks in midair, mouth frozen wide open and eyes looking at Yukio as if he had been caught red-handed for doing something he shouldn't have. Slowly he brought his teeth together, chewed a few times, swallowed and smiled sheepishly at his brother, who responded only by sighing.

"As the four-eyes here told you yesterday, we won't be interfering with you work today", Shura said continuing from where Yukio had stopped. The busty female exorcist dropped to the chair next to Shiemi as Yukio decided to sit on the chair in the head of the table. "So the exorcising is completely up to you."

"However", Yukio continued eying the Exwires and especially Rin with a piercing gaze in his eyes, "for _some reason_ this group of students seems occasionally be attracting even the stronger demons. If you happen to encounter one or if none of you recognize the demon, you will call Shura or me _immediately._ No one, and I mean _no one_, is going to risk their lives by playing a hero. Understood?"

Everyone nodded understanding Yukio's point. Bon however noticed how Yukio's gaze lingered on Rin a few seconds longer and how the young half demon seemed to be _glaring_ at his brother back. But that was nothing unusual, after all, they all knew about Rin's strange disappearances in the middle of the fights. They always assumed Rin was fighting some demon off somewhere (like that time in the abandoned dorm in the end of the last semester), but they never understood why Rin would do that without their help, potentially risking his own life in progress.

But now Bon knew, as some of Rin's secrets had come to the light. Of course Rin didn't want them to see him using his demonic powers (which made Bon to think what kind of powers the young half demon did have. At least an inhuman strength, but what else?), he was trying to keep his heritage as a secret, after all.

"This is a rather small village, so I think you can explore it while looking for the demons tormenting the citizens", Shura's voice forced its way to Bon's ears and he had to stop his musing for a second. It wasn't like him not to pay attention on the teacher speaking. But a_ certain someone_ had just been distracting him lately. "It's almost impossible to get lost. But if you somehow manged to do that, do call someone. I and the wimpy four eyes will be sitting here doing boring teacher stuff, so we'll be free to help you out at any time." The older female exorcist smirked at Yukio, not caring about the the very disapproving look she was getting from him. "That's all, I think?"

"That's all", the younger Okumura twin confirmed nodding his head and turning his eyes towards the Exwires. "But before you leave to exorcise those demons, you need to be divided in a few groups... I think two pairs and one group of three will do. Feel free to pick your partner or partners, and after that you're free to go."

Darn, at the moment Bon really didn't want to spend time alone with anybody. He and Eyebrows (props for Rin for coming up with the nickname) would probably end up killing each other. If Renzou didn't learn to keep his big mouth closed, he would end up killing the guy, a best friend or not. Shiemi seemed enjoy his tormenting too, and he definitely didn't want to have a crazy yaoi fan girl following him around giggling and asking questions (when did the girl get rid of her ridiculous shyness, anyway?). And Takara was... well... Takara, a guy that never spoke anything or if he did, it was only to insult someone.

So that left only Rin and Konekomaru.

"Shiemi for me!"

Forget that. Only Konekomaru.

"Koneko", he said trying to keep his face from showing any emotion. It stung a little to notice Rin was avoiding him, but what can you expect from a guy who had almost had a complete breakdown earlier that morning. No, it'd better if he gave the half demon a little space before pressing the guy once again.

Besides, they surely wouldn't be able to concentrate on demons if they were sent on a mission together.

"Okay, now I know there's _definitely_ something going on with you guys", he suddenly heard Renzou exclaiming and noticed how the pink haired teen was looking back and forth between him and Rin. "Why are you avoiding each other? Did you have a lovers' spat or something?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know _exactly_ what I mean", Renzou answered a mischievous smile on his face and pointed at Rin, who had stopped eating and now looked at them questioningly. "The last months you have been everywhere and done everything together! And only yesterday you were carrying Rin around like a baby! But now you're behaving like you hardly know each other! What the heck happened?"

That was something Bon would have liked to know too, for he had no idea what had happened earlier in the morning. But unfortunately, he was no telepathic. He turned his head slightly to glance at Rin, but got instantly captured by those deep blue eyes as the young half demon gave him a small, apologetic smile. It was only a small gesture, but still it made Bon smile and his heart warm a bit. There definitely was some hope still left.

"Nothing happened."

"Bullsh-"

"Shima", Rin suddenly interrupted the pink haired teen, breaking the eye contact with Bon and looking at the other Aria a somewhat tired expression on his face. No doubt he had also gotten fed up with Renzou's constant questions. "I understand you must feel concerned for Bon, him being your friend and all. But everything is _fine._"

"But..."

Bon glared at the other teen, daring him to utter another word.

"That's enough, Pinkhead. I think those two are competent on making their own decisions", Shura suddenly cut Renzou off and glanced first at Rin and then Bon. "If they want to go separate ways, they can do that. No one can tell them to do otherwise. Not even you."

"But still... Argh, you guys are so _boring!_" the young Aria whined, not being even slightest faltered by the hard looks he was receiving from both Shura and Bon. "Fine then... My dear Izumo-chan, will you honor me by accompanying me during this mission?"

"You wan't me to go with you? All alone? No way in the hell", the purple haired girl said scrunching her nose and turning away from Renzou. "I don't want my partner trying to hit on me all the time. I'd rather take Takara!"

"Aw, you're such an ice queen, Izumo!"

"Too bad. Learn to deal with it."

* * *

In the end it had been Bon and Konekomaru who had been stuck with Renzou. After Izumo's bold rejection the pinkhead decided it would be nice to join Rin and Shiemi's group (Did the guy never learn?), probably to pester Rin about his and Bon's relationship. While Shiemi smiled happily and said it was okay, Rin seemed to realize what Renzou's real intentions were. But of course, due to his good nature, Rin didn't dare to say anything.

That was where Bon decided to step in. The morning had been hard enough for Rin even without Renzou's teasing, and he definitely didn't want the half demon to lose his cool. So in a blink of an eye he stood up, grabbed unceremoniously his friend's collar and dragged the other Aria out of the building, not missing the grateful look he received from Rin.

He felt the corners of his mouth curling upwards at the memory of a slight smile on Rin's lips. Maybe the morning wasn't so bad after all...

So, at the moment, a few hours after the breakfast, the "legendary" Kyoto group was strolling around the village keeping an eye on demons. And while doing that, they realized Shura hadn't been lying when describing the village as a small one. That it really was. There were only a few small grocery stores, bank and a very small school. The main street was surrounded by many different buildings, most of them being old, abandoned business premises, apartment buildings and houses among the still lively ones. No doubt the village was once been very wealthy and lively, but then, apparently the young people started to move away to the bigger towns leaving only elders behind.

"By the way... Am I the only one thinking it's a horrible idea to send three _Arias_ to a wild demon chase _all alone_?" Renzou, who had been surprisingly quiet ever since Bon had dragged him out of the inn murder blaring in those hazel eyes of his, suddenly piped up eying the buildings, alleys and every possible shadow warily, as if someone was going to jump at him any moment. "Who the heck is going to protect you when you start chanting?"

"That would be you, since Mr. Okumura doesn't let me use a gun on public yet", Bon answered taking a look at a wandering female spirit passing them quickly, her long blonde hair and gray dress swaying in the non-existent wind. For a moment she looked at them with empty white eyes, but soon after she continued her floating along the street before vanishing. "You have your staff, after all."

"Besides, every trained Aria should be able to exorcise low and middle level demons on their own", Konekomaru continued eying the spot where the woman had disappeared to. According to her lack of interest, she probably was a completely harmless spirit, who just had been stuck in Assiah for some reason or another. But you can never be sure. Ghosts were known for being very sneaky creatures. "You won't get the Meister if you can't fend yourself against a demon."

Renzou snorted, finally tearing his gaze away from the dark alleys.

"Well, yeah, but those people are trained exorcists! We're freaking Exwires! Second lowest rank!" the pink haired guy exclaimed throwing his hands dramatically in the air.

"I don't see what's your problem", Bon said frowning slightly. "We're hunting low-level demons. Like ghost and stuff. What could go wrong?"

"That's what we thought about the camp too..."

Bon sighed and shook his head, not understanding what was bothering his friend. First the guy was the most annoying person he had ever known and then the pinkhead was acting like some frightened child. Though, the latter was probably because _the camp_ remained still fresh in their minds, you don't forget a near death experience like that very easily.

Especially Bon, who had almost lost his own life, his friends and the guy he loved more than anything else in the world to Satan's flames.

Damn, he really shouldn't think that now.

"Everything is going to be fine", he assured and chuckled by himself. "And if we happen to encounter some stronger demons, we just leave the place, run like hell and contact the teachers. Easy."

"But still..."

"Guys? Do you smell that?" Konekomaru suddenly asked making both Bon and Renzou quiet down and sniff the air.

Smoke.

"Something's burning", Bon stated and looked around to pinpoint the source of the smell of burning wood. And trash. Was someone burning garbage bins or something?

"Should we call the fire department? Renzou said taking a look at their surroundings too, before noticing a thick cloud of smoke rising behind a nearby building. "After all, we're here exorcising demons, not running around playing firemen..."

Right after the word's left Renzou's mouth a red fire truck (probably the only one the village had) sped past them, sirens wailing, and turned right leaving many confused bystanders staring at its tracks. A few curious people even ran after it to see what was going on.

"Let's go", Bon suddenly said and stepped towards a shortcut they had just passed. But before he manged to set his foot on the dark alley, something small ran full speed past his legs, making him almost lose his balance.

_What the...?_

He turned around only to see Konekomaru and Renzou staring at the small creatures running across the street as fast as their tiny legs could carry them. Their ridiculously big, slightly pointed ears swayed on every step they took along the few hairs on their hideously ugly heads.

"W-what the hell are those?" Renzou cried pointing at the small demons disappearing to the first alley they could see.

"Imps, I think", Konekomaru said slowly, still a little dumbfounded. "They're low-level demons, who live with humans and like to prank them. Like hiding stuff and so on. But..."

"It isn't like them to flee like that..." Bon continued frowning slightly, not liking what he was seeing. Something must have been going on. "Even if their home was on fire. They would only stay to look if it could be saved. Something must have scared them off... But there are not many things that could make an imp to leave its house... Damn, this doesn't sound good."

He turned his eyes back to the alley where the imps had just ran from and took a step further. He knew there were only a handful of reasons for the imps to be so scared, and most of them didn't sound very reassuring. Especially the one with a possessed family member in the house.

But they would never know if they didn't check it out.

"C'mon, let's go to see what's going on."

"But shouldn't we call Mr. Okumura first?" he heard Renzou hesitating before hurrying after him and Konekomaru. "Not that I don't trust you guys, but... You know..."

"We'll call him if we happen to encounter something we would be unable to handle", Bon said taking a look around the alley, just to make sure that whatever had scared the imps off wouldn't be lurking around to attack them. He eyed the dark trash bags, fallen trash bins, soaked cardboard boxes and everything possible in case something decided to jump on them. "After all, we were supposed to work today as our own. So no calling teachers until we have to."

He heard Renzou gulping behind him as they made their way towards the other end of the alley. None of them saw a pair of glowing red eyes and orange lines appearing in the middle of the darkness right behind them. Nor did they hear a faint hiss and a quiet screech, when the sharp nails landed on the hard asphalt. They didn't notice how a nearby paper ball caught on fire. They were completely unaware of the creature walking behind them.

"So, what should we be expecting?" the pinkhead asked, not being comfortable with the growing silence. "A dragon? Someone from the Baal? _Bugs?_"

"Well, the best scenario would be that there had been an exorcist chasing them away. But most exorcists don't bother with them, since they rarely cause any harm", Konekomaru told him. "Then there are the most of the mid, high or even upper level demons... Usually one of them is possessing a family member and throws the imps out."

"So you are telling me we're going to butt heads with a high level demon?" Renzou shouted shocked and stopped right at his tracks to pull his staff out. "Are you trying to get us killed!?"

"And how are you even going to pass the exorcist exam...? You're almost as bad as Rin..." Bon muttered rubbing the bridge of his nose and turning around to face the pink haired teen. "If you would have listened during the classes you would know that there's also a handful of low-level demons who are pretty good at scaring imps off. For example ghouls, home elfs, evil ghosts..." he trailed off as something bright caught his eye. That dumpster wasn't on fire earlier, was it? But then he saw a pair of red eyes nearing them, and everything around them was suddenly set on fire. "...salamanders..."

The creature following them hissed and narrowed its eyes while crouching down. And then it leaped.

* * *

Next time: Hmmm... I wonder how Rin and Shiemi's demon hunting is going ;)

* * *

**"See ya next week", I said... like two weeks ago... :'D**

**Let's blame school or something. Or my upcoming finals. Or demonology (btw, it's pretty interesting and addicting stuff D:). Or the fact that I have been re-reading the whole ANEX series... And damn I'm frustrated with the newest chapters, Renzou and the whole Illuminati thing... ._.**

**There's not much BonxRin in this pretty fillerish chapter... Sorry, but it had to be written. Well, at least the second part, I have no idea where the first one came from... Oh, and we're halfway there, only six or seven chapters left! (And to think this was supposed to be a oneshot...) :'D  
**

**Thank you my amazing readers and reviewers~**

**Unfortunately from now on I won't be able to update weekly. I'll try to, but I really have to study for my final exams, too. I'll try to get back at you (hopefully) soon!  
**


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